she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
