he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
