i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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