nut hugger
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
