I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My balls are so social today.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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