Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
