Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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