chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm at about main and main street
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
