So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
