I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
