No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
