turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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