C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
