i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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