Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
