he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize