haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
