Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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