Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
