i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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