Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
