you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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