Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He shit in the fireplace
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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