We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
