he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
