i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
