Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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