I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
