Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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