we're blogging at a bar
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
