Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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