im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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