i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
