just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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