awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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