just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
