yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
