What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
