porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
no, he came in my armpit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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