the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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