i would punch a child for taco bell
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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