literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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