kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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