Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
