I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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