what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize