Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
