imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
