Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
