She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
