Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
