respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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