one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
