She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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