I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
