Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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