I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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