Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
