can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize