you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
