was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
